Who's The BOSS?

She's only 13 months old and I've lost all control over her. Now, I
can't even seem to get her bath temperatures JUST the way she likes it.
She's learned, from watching me, how to control the temp. in the bath
and she does it all on her own now. Tonight, she got in, sat down, and
immediately got up to change the setting. Then, she'll check it and
change it, check, change, check, change, until it's PERFECT. After she
has it just so-so, she'll finally sit down and take her bath/play.

A year ago, I never would have thought she would be adjusting her bath water today. Amazing how things change so fast.

Salem TWIN

I don't know how I feel about such a thing. My first reaction was:
"Wow!, Oh honey, Andrew, we HAVE to get one of these for Salem; it issooo
cool!" He, on the other hand, can't even find it in him to even look at
the magazine. It scares him. Now, I must say, that I do agree with him.
A doll thrown here and there throughout my house that looks identical
to my daughter.... I don't think so! I mean, I'm sure there would be
moments when I would literally think the flippin' "TWIN", was no shit Salem. I'm pretty sure it would haunt me.


The main reason why I thought it was so cool in the beginning, was that I
can totally picture her wanting to have such a thing. All children
think their above and better than any other kid, so why wouldn't they
want a doll that looked just like them? It would be a total blow to
their ego(s) if they didn't have such a hideous thing, right?

In the magazine, you can buy matching
clothes, shoes, toys, accessories, pj's, etc. to match your child and her
TWIN. Are we the only ones who think it is a little odd?

My BAD!

Oops. I should have known better. I mapquested my driving directions yesterday for the location I needed to go TODAY for the interview. I allowed myself more than enough driving (so I thought), and even ran through a Starbucks because I had so much EXTRA time to kill (I estimated this by the distance I had gone in such a short amount of time and calculated the rest of the trip off the top of head--without issues, that is). Oh, and by the way, I also ran into a Pastor, of all people, who I knew in Alaska. Isn't that weird? He moved back to San Antonio and is now a civilian financial advisor. Anyways............

I didn't PLAN on bad traffic on the 1604. Or, for that matter, the fact that it would only be down to ONE lane. Oh my GOD, I immediatly started freaking the hell out! Then, I got past that, only to find that mapquest sucks, and just like "normal" people, it too, can make mistakes. Who would have thought such a thing? I THOUGHT their system was flawless...like me :)

To make a long story short because I KNOW you can all see where this is going, I was LATE to my meeting. REAL GOOD NOEL, REAL FREAKIN' GOOD. I walked in and all eyes were on me. There were about 30 models there and the interview board of the company. I felt like such a jackass. My chances of going places and doing things for them is highly likely OVER and done with. Way to blow it! It was only 5 minutes, but late is late. There was another girl who showed up after me, so in my mind, I shouldn't be at the TOTAL bottome of the list, right?

The worst part about it was the fact that I could see the disappointment on their faces and their pens started writing like crazy after I made my arrival. Hhhmmmm... I wonder what that could have meant? Probably a big, fat, red X across my hot mama, bikini photo.

To make myself feel better, I came home and benged on waffles and all the junk that I have been tasting for for months. It didn't help; now I just want to vomit. You know, standard model bullshit...binge, purge, binge, purge, purge, purge, purge! I'm only kidding.

I'll let you know what I hear next week sometime. Does anyone have a job offer for me besides taking my clothes off? Katie, can I come decorate and help paint your house?

Shit, Shit, SHIT!!!

Tomorrow is a big day, HUGE, to be exact. I have a 2nd interview with Forge Agency to do some work for them coming up which includes traveling 1 weekend every month and a 2 week trip in January. The company works hand-and-hand with:
*Paramount Pictures
*Universal Studios
* Warner Brothers
*Elivs Presley Enterprises
*Coors Brewing
*Bucilla Mills
*Holiday Inn ("Chillin' at the HOLIDAY INN!!!")
* THE NFL
*Anheuser Busch
*Nestle USA
*Target
*Tonka Toys
* Miller Brewing Company
* Quaker Foods


Etc., Etc. You get the point---they are BIG TIME and I am scared shitless. Last weekend, I spent my days strutting my "goods" for them in a LITTLE bikini and tomorrow I get to wear a business suit...THANK GOD!!

The interview last weekend went well (aside from hardly having any clothing on). I can't even begin to explain to you how WEIRD it is standing/sitting in front of a business board of people and having to answer ?'s when all you can think about is if your bottoms are riding up your ass-crack or maybe your ta-tas are showing too much on one side, or WHATEVER the case might be....it's just plain weird.

So, hopefully tomorrow I will be more relaxed. The interview is with the President/CEO, so I don't know how relaxed I can really be. I'll let you all know how it goes.

On flip side, I am honestly shocked that they called me back for a 2nd interview. Last weekend, they asked me if I drank beer and my answer was a flat out NO! Had I known exactly who they were and that they handle all the marketing for basically every beer company out there, I would have lied my freakin' ass off. I'll tell them whatever they want to hear to make some cash! I'm allergic to beer so I obviously don't drink it; however, I will swell up, get hives, I don't give a crap what I have to do as long as they pay me good enough to do so. Okay, not anything, but close.

Children's Museum

On Friday, a girlfriend and I took the girls to the local N.B. Children's
Museum. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was so cool! I think
my girlfriend and I had more fun playing with every thing than the
girls did. The older I get, the more I feel like a big kid....I think having
a child automatically does that to you anyways!

The museum had a TON of different rooms that all had a New Braunfels theme to them.
*New Bruanfit--fitness center
* New Braunfels bank (where the children could be pretend tellers)
* Omaha's House (one of the local restaurants here)
* Grocery store (where they could ring up their own food and how much the owed)
* Outside water play land
* Dinosaur attractions
* Aquarium
* pretend bat caves/ campsites, fishing, firepitts, etc.

The place was incredible! It was super clean and a definite, must have, season ticket holder! The fact that it is basically in my backyard is also A ++++!!
There are loads and loads of fun things to do in San Antonio; however, most attractions take at least an hour just to drive to. Then, by the time you get there, the kids are usually aslepp, then they wake up cranky, and you're too damn tired to drag their grumpy asses around.

Having the museum close by is really going to come in handy!

Cursed

I am cursed. This past weekend, my girlfriend Roza and I went shopping
at some local shops. She ran into Pier1, and came back with a gift for
me! What a nice friend! It was something that I would never have even
thought to get someone. It is the above hand carved frog that makes croaking noises when you rub the stick back and fourth. Hhhmmm....I thought, well, maybe not for me, but I knew Salem would LOVE it(and she does)!

That very same night, I notice something looking at me from across the room, and what was it..........A FLIPPIN'
FROG!!! How in the hell did it get in my HOUSE? Andrew was out of town,
and I had to phone my mom to talk me through getting it out and off my
rug. It gets better.............

First thing every morning when
we first get out of bed, like most dog owners, we let Lilly out to do
her thing. I'm rubbing my eyes, half asleep still, and what is it that
I see first thing when I open the door???? The DAMN FROG AGAIN in
Lilly's water dish!! I couldn't believe it. The night before I let it
go out front, only to find it in the backyard hours later. Now, we
can't get it to leave and we find it soaking in her dish every morning.
GROSS..GROSS..GROSS!!

Thank you Roza for The Curse of the Evil FROG!

Same Boat

Around here, we've been in the same boat as Katie. Salem has been sick,
walking around SCREAMING her little cranium off in pain; stomach and "bagina"
pain. Poor thing. Her butt is as red as the fire hydrant in front of my
home. Every thing she puts in her mouth comes straight out her ass. If
it isn't one thing, it's another. The last few weeks have been filled
with constant ear infections, runny nose, etc. Yesterday, I went around
the house and cleaned up a LONG trail of diarrhea and when she went to sit down, it squirted out all ends. (I had to catch my breath just reliving the moment all over again...nasty).


Before all the craziness began, I attempted to take her to a local gymnastics
facility that opens its doors to children 5 and under two x's per week.
What a cool place it is! I think if she would have felt better, she
would have enjoyed much more than she did. To think of it, she really
didn't have any fun that day because she was starting to get ill. I had
fun and felt like a kid again. They had the uneven bars with foam pits
underneath, balance beams, in-the-ground trampolines, tons of climbing "things", and best of all, an inner tube
that I sat her grumpy ass in and flung her around like a ragdoll throughout the entire place.
Salem was holding on for her dear life. I, on the other, was just about
pissing my pants(as you can clearly see on the look of my face.)Hmmm
...maybe we'll try again one of these days. They do charge $7 per visit
that can last up to 2 hours. I don't know about you, but I think it's a
bit expensive considering her age and what she can do at this point. I
have friends that go both days every week. $56 bucks a month for open
gym? We might have to find another weekly activity!

3+?

I hate, HATE when you go to Toys 'R Us to buy a toy for a child and they're marked "age appropriate." What does that mean exactly? I think SOME are labeled correctly; however, yesterday I purchased a shopping cart with mini cardboard play-food (which you can tell she LOVES by the expression on her face), and it was labeled with a big fat AGES 3+. What the heck? Can someone please explain to me why my mobile child can't put/play/walk with a shopping cart? The second I gave it to her, she took off and went "shopping" like YOU READ ABOUT! She does this with me on a weekly (okay, sometimes daily) basis, so she damn well knew what she was doing. She's a professional at this and I think children can be exposed to such toys as these well before the age of 3. By the time she is 3, I plan on her already having her drivers license and not just pushing toys around my home.




In the bottom photos she was grabbing boxes, looking at the pictures,"reading" ingredients to tell me watch she needed, and then she was saying "bye-bye" like she knew she needed to go check out....so cute she is!

FashionTini Thursday

Wait, is that Clockwork Orange trying to steal my man? If only I would have had a cane...now THAT would have been something!


No, no, just silly me thinking skinny to fit into my size 25 jeans!

They fit, but DAAMMMNNN...they looked and fit tight (and not in the cool way). You can never hide a fat ass behind a pair of jeans!


No Eva. Overall, the experience was, I would have to say, an
experience. I had some fun, didn't have some fun, but all and all, you
always learn and grow from any situation you put yourself in. The
fashion show was located at the Hotel Valencia downtown San Antonio.
They called the event "FashionTini Thursday"; which incorporated a male and female fashion show by a local, overpriced boutique, along with a martini-themed
evening. The location was AMAZING and beautiful. I was treated (in the
beginning), like a queen and had everything handed to me. They knew who
I was when I pulled up,valet and paid for my parking, had a super
trendy salon come to the Presidential Suite to do me up from head to
toe, and had things offered to me left and right. Sounds fun, right?

Me and the 13 year old were the only "models" there for the event. All
the other people in the show were employees of the hotel. So, the
entire staff (of models), decided to get "shit faced off of their
asses." Everything was for free, so they were doing shots of this and
that left and right. I kept having things offered to me, but nicely
kept turning them down.

However, right before the show was getting ready to start, the model in front of me had (what appeared to be cranberry juice in a HUGE glass---which sounded tasty considering the fact that I had JUST started ragging THE MOMENT I arrived and I know
that cranberry juice can do wonders for your vagine) , but it ended up being a cranberry with vodka and I HATE VODKA. I immediately went yuck and passed it to the male model behind me whose eyes lit up when I did so. At that very moment, the coordinator of the event came over and started yelling at me (like I was 10),screaming that I wasn't allowed to drink. I was completely taken back by all of this and confused off of my ass considering the fact that her ENTIRE hotel staff was blitzed off of their asses, when all I did was take a flippin ' sip of something. She
said my agency didn't agree with anyone drinking, while working, and
that she was going to report me. I DO understand where my agency would
want such a thing, but I was never told of this, and the whole thing
seemed hypercritical to me when everyone else around me can barely stand
up, AND, AND, the event was taken place at a cocktail lounge. Not to
mention, it was only a sip and I didn't even want or like it bitch.


I'm waiting to see what my agent will say to me. I really could give to
shits. It was fun, but not THAT fun. The industry is FULL of people who
think their bigger and better than the last or next person. They'll kiss
your ass when they want something from you and immediately toss you to
the curb the next second. At the time, wouldn't you know that I was
being told that I was the hottest thing wearing their clothes, and
right after, they were yelling at us to give them back to them in
tip-top shape and checking everything off 3 times to make sure you didn't steal from them. Give me a break dude. I'm a 24 year old MOTHER and I don't give a rats ass about your fucking $600 pair of jeans
that did nothing for my figure but make me look like a fat fuck. Fuck you.
Then you have the nerve to tell me to come by your boutique to buy the
clothes I wore for a 25% discount.Hhhmmm , 25% discount off of a $600
dress.....up your discount percentage and then maybe we'll talk. My
model salary can't afford your $600 dress.

Besides all of that B.S., it was fun. Andrew was there, some friends of ours came out
to show their support, and we went out to Rita's for a Mexican food dinner on the Riverwalk. The best thing about it is that I always get to come home to my babies: Salem and Andrew.

Runnin' Sue

Salem picked up walking on her birthday. Then, overnight, she went to full blown running. Now, I can't seem to keep up with her. She is here, there, everywhere! If she's not getting into one thing, its another. Last night she was helping Mommy cook in the kithen! After she finished cooking dinner, she went over to the window to tease Lilly. Oooooohhhh, I just love my baby!